Walking by Faith, not by Sight

It's absolutely incredible what the Lord can teach you in such a short amount of time. This week has been filled with oh so many emotions. This past Tuesday after Crusade we had a girls dessert night. Usually we have a few each semester, but this was actually the first one this semester and for me the first one of the year. I was so excited about it because it is always such a time of encouragement. But this time the staff asked some of us seniors to be the "speakers." They decided it would be a great idea to have 5 of us who had been involved in Crusade most of college to speak to the younger girls. I was so honored to be asked to do this and I told my friend Amy that I think I got more out of it than I gave. There was a list of 5 or so questions that we all answered and it was just such an encouragement to me in so many ways. Not only was it awesome to have 3 of my best friends from college up there sharing with me, but it was so encouraging to look out at all of the girls who are freshman and sophomores and see them so indwelled in what we had to say. It is so great to see the future faces of Crusade and know that God has great plans for all of those girls.

Wednesday was a crazy day and my future, well the lack there of really got a hold of me. Reality REALLY hit me on my morning walk. As I was walking around the square (one of my favorite things to do in this down) I realized that I only have about 3 more weeks to enjoy this town and everything about it. Which not only makes me so sad, but also comes with uncertainties about what the future holds. Wednesday and Thursday I just got so frustrated with the Lord. I have been so patient and I am trying so hard to trust in Him and know He has a reasoning behind everything. Thursday night I sat in my car and just cried out to Him. Obviously I struggle with patience and am trying SO hard to fix that, but it's not easy! I keep thinking that life isn't fair, but at the same time I am trying to constantly remind myself that He is in control and His ways are not always My ways. I have never clung tighter to Jeremiah 29:11. As I told the girls on Tuesday night it has a whole different meaning to me now than ever before. Needless to say Satan has been taking over my life lately and feeding me all of these lies about not knowing the future and that I have NO clue what I will be doing/where I will be next year. But the wonderful thing is that GOD DOES! Friday I ran into one of my good friends whom I have not seen in a long time and she asked me the infamous "What are you doing next year question?" I quickly said "I don't know" and hurried to the car where tears filled my eyes. It's almost inevitable that I cry every time that question comes up and I wish I had those plans for my life, but I'm waiting patiently (well trying to) on those plans and I pray they come SO soon!

It's always really cool to see the Lord answer prayers and reassure you that He is in control. That happened to me at church this morning. It was one of those times where you feel as though the preacher is preaching right to you, yep that happened to me this morning and it was so awesome. I knew it was going to be an awesome sermon when we opened up the Bible to Jonah chapter 1. I just finished reading Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller with my friend Amy. It is such a great book and I encourage you to read it if you have not done so. Anyway, there is a part in the book that talks about Jonah and how he was terrified of leaving his comfort zone and following God's will for his life. Keller says, "And so it is under stress, in real life experience, that the true nature of our hearts is revealed... what Christ thinks of us is what matters, not human approval." and he goes on to say, "Jonah shows us that it is one thing to believe the gospel with our minds, and another to work it deep into our hearts so it affects everything we think, feel, and do." Jonah was leaving his comfort zone and asked to go to Nineveh a place where Christians were often persecuted. Keller says "When Jesus Christ came to earth, he was leaving the ultimate comfort zone, in order to come and minister not just to a people who might harm him, but to people who would." Christ definitely left His comfort zone to come and save us from our sin. Anyway, the sermon this morning was focused on Jonah's plans vs. the plans he had for him self and the uncertainties that came with the Lord's plans for Jonah. He basically summed Chapter 1 of Jonah up into 3 points: God has plans for you and those plans are perfect, Don't run away from God's will of your life- He WILL find you and whatever God is calling you from is always worse than what God is calling you to.

Although I do not know the plans for my life right now, I am patiently waiting on them and I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes me. In one way it is so scary to not know where life leads, but also it is fun, because it is going to be an adventure with the greatest friend ever. I am so excited to have the Lord as a tour guide and see the adventure that He is about to lead me on. Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." I love this verse because it is reassuring that God has prepared things for me. Our God really is so BIG and awesome isn't He? Right now I am trying to walk by faith and trust His perfect plan for my life.

-Mo